I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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