I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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