Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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