I heard we made out
"it" just moved
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
