You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
