Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
