Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Randomize
