Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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