I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
