party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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