Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
