at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
vagina is talking i cant
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
