What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize