tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think people are normalizing furries
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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