i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
