God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
