I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
