Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
