Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
