There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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