maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
