listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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