do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Still dying that you shit outside
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
