ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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