Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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