Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
