Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
