She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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