Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
