and she was petting her beer can
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
