I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
