Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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