I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
