dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
