Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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