If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
