i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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