sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
