i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
