I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize