just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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