Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
