p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
