Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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