just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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