You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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