saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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