so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
