BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
