hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize