yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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