I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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