Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he puts the penis in happiness.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
