What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
