I wanna bring you to show and tell
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Randomize
