just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
