If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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