you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
