No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
