i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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