In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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