I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
