She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
